Failure
"I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot... and missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why... I succeed."
Michael Jordan
I wasn’t going to post these thoughts because I look at this blog as a place where I talk about what’s going on in the career of Al Letson. Generally, I like to keep it positive. I usually try not to talk about the struggles here, but in reflection, I think that without talking about the bad times, the celebration of the good times doesn’t have as much meaning.
That being said, I’m at the point of burn-out. On everything. I need to get away for awhile. Leave the computer on the desk and relax. But I don’t see where I’ll have time to do that until August (if then). All the projects I’m working on seems a little too big, or a little too hopeless. I’m still working to perfect the Jacksonville episode. I like what I have, but I feel like I could do better. I need to give people a better sense of the place. Right now I think I have good solid stories, but I need more parts to fill it out. If I was okay with being good, then I think it’d be fine. But I’m not okay with being good. I want to be brilliant. I will be brilliant. Period. The space between good and brilliant is a hard spot. In some ways I feel like I'm just not doing enough. Like the show needs to work better in some key areas, and I'm not sure how to do it. So, yeah, it feels like I'm failing. I don't know what else I can do. It's got to come from outside of me. I have a great team but I need a senior producer to really help find that missing part. Until then, I've got to push to make it work. Fortunately, in circumstances like this, I am always at my best.
The theatre side of my career is where most of my frustration comes from. My best friend Jamel told me the other night, “How come every time I talk to you, it’s like you are waiting on someone else to give you the green light?” He's right and for a person like me, who likes being in control that’s the part of being an artist that kills. I’ve got all of these great ideas, scripts, and stories, and yet I always feel like I’m on the outside begging to get in. Today Julius X will be read for a second time by the Classical Theatre of Harlem @ the cell theater. I am extremely excited for this to happen. But on the flip side, I’m a little disappointed because I feel like this will probably be the end for the play. I could be completely wrong, but I can help but feel like what I was hoping for (someone who could help produce the play) would see the work, and want to help find a way to make it work. I’m confident, that if the right person is in the room, the play will get what it needs to be given a full run in NYC. The actors are amazing, the director is excellent, and the story and writing are on point. And yet, I don’t have much working as far as getting people out. It’s the never-ending problem for me. I create good work, but have no advocate to get that work out there. It’s beyond frustrating.
My play Summer in Sanctuary is in neutral. After having great success in at home and in Baltimore, the piece has been rejected by every juried festival I’ve sent it to. I believe in the play again I know it’s strong. I’ve seen solo shows in NYC and I’m always disappointed. I know my plays are stronger then what I’m seeing, but I can’t get anyone to really take me seriously. I’m working on a new play and I’m getting the feeling of “Why?” Why create anymore because it will be like all the other pieces. Good work that will collect dust. That feeling never last for long because the answer to the question “WHY?” is simple, because I could not, not do it. I can’t stop writing. I can’t stop performing. It’s who I am. On a dark day in Boston eleven years ago, I learned what the consequences were of not following the art. I’d tried to stop writing to make other people happy to fit into someone else box, and one day it all came crashing down. I thought about just ending it all because I was so lost. It was a terrible day that I had to go through to learn who I really am. An artist. A writer. A doer. A dreamer. And no matter how bad I feel right now, it’s nothing in comparison to sense of utter loss I felt when I tried to stop being me.
My mantra has always been “Do the work” and everything else will work out and I’m going to keep that mantra going, but some days when you do all the work and nothing works out it can be demoralizing.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Julius X comes home.
“I’m going to remember this night, for the rest of my life.” That’s what I was thinking when my cousin walked into Schomburg Center in New York City. I have a strange relationship with New York. I love her. Seriously. I have such great memories of NY. Syretta, Bassey, Sabrina and I walking through Brooklyn in the summer. Stacie, Rich and I stumbling from bar to bar in the West Village. Seeing Passing Strange on Broadway, wanting to throw my concessions at a solo performer while Lucy and Jason practically snored next to me. I could go on and on.
Then there are the tough times; As a kid I was a leader in a hip hop group, Jamel, Squiggy, LJ, we drove up to NY looking to break in. I remember leaving to get on the subway, and I told everyone, “Grab a tape, we’re in NY anything can happen.” Nothing happened except we spent a ton of money with nothing in return. Dan and I went to NYC to do my solo show Essential Personnel, I later returned with Barbara, Mark and a band to put the show up again. Sometimes I’d perform for forty people most of the time I performed for three. I thought the experience of performing for such a small crowd was the worst thing that happened to me. Now I know it was one of the best. Traveling that for to perform for three people seemed like such a waste. But really it prepared me in ways I couldn’t imagine at the time. Professionally, every time I left New York, I’d think, she got me again. While staying in the city rehearsing with a new director for Essential Personnel, Ron, I woke up in Bassey and Maro’s apartment in Brooklyn to find out the sky had fallen. I remember clearly walking through the streets going to get something to eat, and the ash from the Towers floating in the air. Seed and I “escaped” New York three days later. When we drove out from the city, I looked out of the rear window and watched as the smoke crept from the mounds of debris and stretched itself into the night sky. I mourned for the city, the people, and the idea of New York. The idea that all these people of all different backgrounds could be in the same place, work together, live together, love/hate and struggle together it seemed that 9/11 had destroyed that.
Thankfully New York and her people are stronger then that.
I wrote Julius X, about a mythical time and place in America, Harlem more specifically. The play is set in an alternative universe, but it is about honoring a man, Malcolm X, a place, and a time. I did a ton of research, talked to Jimmy, Dr. Felicia and her mother to help me fill out the vision of what Harlem was, what it meant to the people who lived there. It’s a complicated piece with a lot of layers. I’ve had two really excellent directors do the play and I’m happy with both of their visions. Gary’s (Plowshares in Detroit) version was tight and well staged, Barbara’s (Players by the Sea in Jacksonville) was big, and smart. Both got the poetry right for the most part. The actors in both were good. Except, Julius. The Detroit Julius was good, but not what I was looking for, I enjoyed him as an actor, just not sure I dug him in that role. The less I say about the Jacksonville Julius probably the better.
There have been other productions, one in Cleveland that I didn’t get to see. I was curious how that production was because I was not able to work with the actors on the poetry, so I wasn’t sure how it was going to work out. The reviews were mixed, I didn’t expect to get much out of it. But oddly enough that production is how the Classical Theatre of Harlem found out about the play. While on tour they’d heard from someone that they needed to check out the play, they asked for a script, I sent it in and didn’t hear anything for a while, and then they schedule the reading. Between radio, Summer in Sanctuary, and my new piece Crumbs, I hadn’t thought much about it.
I came to New York for rehearsal a little unsure. The director Tracy, was young and hadn’t directed a lot. She was nice though, and I thought she got the material… but still. All of that was erased the minute we started rehearsal. The cast was phenomenal, and Tracy’s command of the rhythm was impressive. In a week’s time we bonded and created something that was better then I’d even imagined it in my head. Each actor did amazing work, but I’d seen great actors in various roles, so while I was impressed I wasn’t surprised. It was the smaller roles that blew me away; usually in a production the weaker actors get the smaller roles. In this reading, we got some excellent talent to read these small parts and really bring it to life. And then there was Julius. Ty Jones is an incredible actor, I’ve seen him, do his thing a couple times, and I enjoyed watching him. When CTH said they wanted to read the play I asked if Ty could be Julius because I knew he could kill the part. Thankfully Ty is on the board of CTH, and agreed to do it. He was magnificent. He gave the reading exactly what the role needs. Fire, smarts, and a magnetism that makes you as an audience member want to follow him. Without that fire, the play loses much of it’s punch. The actors, the drummer/violinist, Tracy and I were able to collaborate on the material and elevate it beyond what I have been hearing in my head into something beautiful.
The night of the reading, I got all screwed up on subway, and had to jump in a cab to get to the Schomburg Center. When I read the address to the cabbie, is when it hit me. The Schomburg is in Harlem. 135 and Malcolm X Blvd. Performing the piece in Harlem was something I wanted to do since started writing the play, but honestly I never thought it would happen. It struck me watching the actors, give the play it’s due, in some ways I’ve accomplished a goal, a dream that I held on to so long, I just didn’t even think about it anymore.
I’m not one for looking back when it comes to my career. When good things happen, I take it, enjoy it for a day or two then let it go. I learned long ago that the business is a series of ups and downs and the way you survive is not to get too high or too low. But this week, I know I will feel similar to the way I did when my children were born. A continual floating high, that’s not so easy to let go.
God is good, and the universe makes space when you dream.
Then there are the tough times; As a kid I was a leader in a hip hop group, Jamel, Squiggy, LJ, we drove up to NY looking to break in. I remember leaving to get on the subway, and I told everyone, “Grab a tape, we’re in NY anything can happen.” Nothing happened except we spent a ton of money with nothing in return. Dan and I went to NYC to do my solo show Essential Personnel, I later returned with Barbara, Mark and a band to put the show up again. Sometimes I’d perform for forty people most of the time I performed for three. I thought the experience of performing for such a small crowd was the worst thing that happened to me. Now I know it was one of the best. Traveling that for to perform for three people seemed like such a waste. But really it prepared me in ways I couldn’t imagine at the time. Professionally, every time I left New York, I’d think, she got me again. While staying in the city rehearsing with a new director for Essential Personnel, Ron, I woke up in Bassey and Maro’s apartment in Brooklyn to find out the sky had fallen. I remember clearly walking through the streets going to get something to eat, and the ash from the Towers floating in the air. Seed and I “escaped” New York three days later. When we drove out from the city, I looked out of the rear window and watched as the smoke crept from the mounds of debris and stretched itself into the night sky. I mourned for the city, the people, and the idea of New York. The idea that all these people of all different backgrounds could be in the same place, work together, live together, love/hate and struggle together it seemed that 9/11 had destroyed that.
Thankfully New York and her people are stronger then that.
I wrote Julius X, about a mythical time and place in America, Harlem more specifically. The play is set in an alternative universe, but it is about honoring a man, Malcolm X, a place, and a time. I did a ton of research, talked to Jimmy, Dr. Felicia and her mother to help me fill out the vision of what Harlem was, what it meant to the people who lived there. It’s a complicated piece with a lot of layers. I’ve had two really excellent directors do the play and I’m happy with both of their visions. Gary’s (Plowshares in Detroit) version was tight and well staged, Barbara’s (Players by the Sea in Jacksonville) was big, and smart. Both got the poetry right for the most part. The actors in both were good. Except, Julius. The Detroit Julius was good, but not what I was looking for, I enjoyed him as an actor, just not sure I dug him in that role. The less I say about the Jacksonville Julius probably the better.
There have been other productions, one in Cleveland that I didn’t get to see. I was curious how that production was because I was not able to work with the actors on the poetry, so I wasn’t sure how it was going to work out. The reviews were mixed, I didn’t expect to get much out of it. But oddly enough that production is how the Classical Theatre of Harlem found out about the play. While on tour they’d heard from someone that they needed to check out the play, they asked for a script, I sent it in and didn’t hear anything for a while, and then they schedule the reading. Between radio, Summer in Sanctuary, and my new piece Crumbs, I hadn’t thought much about it.
I came to New York for rehearsal a little unsure. The director Tracy, was young and hadn’t directed a lot. She was nice though, and I thought she got the material… but still. All of that was erased the minute we started rehearsal. The cast was phenomenal, and Tracy’s command of the rhythm was impressive. In a week’s time we bonded and created something that was better then I’d even imagined it in my head. Each actor did amazing work, but I’d seen great actors in various roles, so while I was impressed I wasn’t surprised. It was the smaller roles that blew me away; usually in a production the weaker actors get the smaller roles. In this reading, we got some excellent talent to read these small parts and really bring it to life. And then there was Julius. Ty Jones is an incredible actor, I’ve seen him, do his thing a couple times, and I enjoyed watching him. When CTH said they wanted to read the play I asked if Ty could be Julius because I knew he could kill the part. Thankfully Ty is on the board of CTH, and agreed to do it. He was magnificent. He gave the reading exactly what the role needs. Fire, smarts, and a magnetism that makes you as an audience member want to follow him. Without that fire, the play loses much of it’s punch. The actors, the drummer/violinist, Tracy and I were able to collaborate on the material and elevate it beyond what I have been hearing in my head into something beautiful.
The night of the reading, I got all screwed up on subway, and had to jump in a cab to get to the Schomburg Center. When I read the address to the cabbie, is when it hit me. The Schomburg is in Harlem. 135 and Malcolm X Blvd. Performing the piece in Harlem was something I wanted to do since started writing the play, but honestly I never thought it would happen. It struck me watching the actors, give the play it’s due, in some ways I’ve accomplished a goal, a dream that I held on to so long, I just didn’t even think about it anymore.
I’m not one for looking back when it comes to my career. When good things happen, I take it, enjoy it for a day or two then let it go. I learned long ago that the business is a series of ups and downs and the way you survive is not to get too high or too low. But this week, I know I will feel similar to the way I did when my children were born. A continual floating high, that’s not so easy to let go.
God is good, and the universe makes space when you dream.
Friday, January 02, 2009
Today is the Future.
Today is the Future.
Happy 2009. Now time to get to work. I’ve been working on the next installment of my radio show State of the Re:UNION Jacksonville Bold New City of the South for a couple weeks now. The process of creating a show is a weird mixture of excitement, fear, and logistics. I’m embracing it, but just like every show Jacksonville presents a challenge. Here, I’d say the biggest challenge comes in three areas.
1. I was on my way to report a story, ran into on of my favorite spots the Burrito Gallery, to grab something to eat came out to my car 10 minutes later to find that my car had been broken into and all of my audio equipment was stole. The thieves must have been watching me when I parked because I made sure all my doors were locked and put my bag under the seat with a jacket on top of it. They went right for the bag, leaving everything else in tact. At first I was pissed. But a week later I can look back on it and be glad. I’m happy because right now, I’m sad to say the city I love so much is in the throws of violence. It’s everywhere. People are being killed for less then nothing. If I’d left the Burrito Gallery five minutes earlier, I might have caught the thieves, and they might have caught me with some bullets. Eight hundred dollars worth of equipment is not worth mine or anyone else’s life.
2. This is my home city. You’d think it would be easier to do a show on your home territory but in some ways that familiarity is the enemy. It makes objectivity hard. The staff of SOTRU and I have spent weeks thinking about the stories we would tell, how could we sum up a city we know so well, we almost have too many ideas.
3. I love SOTRU: Motor City Rebound. But there are things in the show that I want to do better. This is our development process, so we are allowing ourselves to experiment with form and content. With Detroit, I feel like we didn’t get the grit of the city, we got so many stories of optimism, which was great, but I think it would have been better to have a little more balance.
These three challenges are going to make this show special. I’ve decided that this episode needs to be extremely personal. Like I must take ownership of this city, the good and bad. I have a personal history with this place, some days I love it, other days I want to run as fast and far as I can to get away from it. So my goal is to take that contradiction and give it life.
Happy 2009. Now time to get to work. I’ve been working on the next installment of my radio show State of the Re:UNION Jacksonville Bold New City of the South for a couple weeks now. The process of creating a show is a weird mixture of excitement, fear, and logistics. I’m embracing it, but just like every show Jacksonville presents a challenge. Here, I’d say the biggest challenge comes in three areas.
1. I was on my way to report a story, ran into on of my favorite spots the Burrito Gallery, to grab something to eat came out to my car 10 minutes later to find that my car had been broken into and all of my audio equipment was stole. The thieves must have been watching me when I parked because I made sure all my doors were locked and put my bag under the seat with a jacket on top of it. They went right for the bag, leaving everything else in tact. At first I was pissed. But a week later I can look back on it and be glad. I’m happy because right now, I’m sad to say the city I love so much is in the throws of violence. It’s everywhere. People are being killed for less then nothing. If I’d left the Burrito Gallery five minutes earlier, I might have caught the thieves, and they might have caught me with some bullets. Eight hundred dollars worth of equipment is not worth mine or anyone else’s life.
2. This is my home city. You’d think it would be easier to do a show on your home territory but in some ways that familiarity is the enemy. It makes objectivity hard. The staff of SOTRU and I have spent weeks thinking about the stories we would tell, how could we sum up a city we know so well, we almost have too many ideas.
3. I love SOTRU: Motor City Rebound. But there are things in the show that I want to do better. This is our development process, so we are allowing ourselves to experiment with form and content. With Detroit, I feel like we didn’t get the grit of the city, we got so many stories of optimism, which was great, but I think it would have been better to have a little more balance.
These three challenges are going to make this show special. I’ve decided that this episode needs to be extremely personal. Like I must take ownership of this city, the good and bad. I have a personal history with this place, some days I love it, other days I want to run as fast and far as I can to get away from it. So my goal is to take that contradiction and give it life.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
End of the Year Round up.
EndEnd of the Year Round up.
A bunch is going on with me at the close of the year so I thought I’d wrap it up here.
Everyone has been asking me about the cuts at NPR, and wondering if it affects me. Yes and no. I know a lot of good people who got hurt by the cuts at NPR, my “Obi Wan” Doug Mitchell, the staff of New and Notes and a couple other people who have really helped me in this journey through radio have felt the pinch. They are so brilliant at what they do, it sadness me that NPR couldn’t find a way to keep their shows and programs running. Knowing all of these people, I can comfortably say, this will not stop them. It might actually be a blessing. Freeing them to do bigger and bolder projects.
As for me, I’m not affiliated with NPR. My show is funded by CPB, which is the big boss for all Public Broadcasting. What it might affect is my ability in the future to make shows. My development deal runs through 09’, if I am funded in the future by CPB it will depend on a few things, the national economy being one of them. I’m not worried. I’m going to make the best damn show possible and make what I bring to the table essential to the future of public broadcasting. And if they don’t pick up the show, someone else will. The future is bright because the big guy upstairs told me to do the work and let him handle the rest. I can do that.
I have been missing the stage like crazy. With all of the other stuff that’s going on; projects I can talk about (radio) and projects I can’t (shshshsh), I been working my butt off. But no theatre time. It’s driving me a little nutty. I need to get on stage, I need to write for the stage; the feeling I get from both of them is unparalleled. I don’t feel like my theatre career has stalled, but I also don’t think it’s moving at the pace I’d like. But I guess the more important thing is that I can’t control that, what I can control is the work. That sounds clinical when the truth is for me it’s not about making work to advance a career path. It’s about making work because I have a story to tell, something to say. It’s about being in love with the stage, the hot lights, the conversation between me and the audience. I can’t live without it. And so I’m in the midst of working on a new theatre piece. Crumbs.
I’m sure I’ll be writing more about the play here, but in this post I won’t talk about the story itself. This will be the first piece that I’m working with a composer on. It’s a poetical that will use music in a way I haven’t in the past. I’m excited to have a collaborator and though we have not officially decided to work together we are moving in that direction. Very exciting for me, to have someone that can score behind my words because I hear it in my head musically, but mostly I have had to settle for it without music. Irritating. I can’t wait to see and hear how the piece shakes out.
I'm applying for a bunch of fellowships and residencies across the country. I'm excited about the prospects. These things though come and go. You put together a package and then you forget about it. Pray that someone reads it, and gets the work you are looking to do. So we'll see, deep down, I feel like a few of these fellowships are mine. I don't know why but on some of the stuff i submit for, I know before I send off the package that I'm going to get it. Two of them specifically I can feel it. Let's hope that feeling is true.
2008 has been a very good year for me. So personally I feel like things are moving in the right direction. Still it’s hard to be too happy when the economy is falling apart and people all over the country are struggling to pay bills and feed families. The world on a whole is in a tough-tough spot. In the New Year, I of course would like to professionally move forward, but more importantly with all the stuff going on, I want to be apart of the solution. It may be a corny sentiment, but we’ve tried all the other stuff and nothing seems to be working. Personally, I’m going to try and bring what little light I have, I want to be the open palm instead of the closed fist. I’m so tired of the closed fist. So is the rest of the world. May we all wake in a better world tomorrow.
A bunch is going on with me at the close of the year so I thought I’d wrap it up here.
Everyone has been asking me about the cuts at NPR, and wondering if it affects me. Yes and no. I know a lot of good people who got hurt by the cuts at NPR, my “Obi Wan” Doug Mitchell, the staff of New and Notes and a couple other people who have really helped me in this journey through radio have felt the pinch. They are so brilliant at what they do, it sadness me that NPR couldn’t find a way to keep their shows and programs running. Knowing all of these people, I can comfortably say, this will not stop them. It might actually be a blessing. Freeing them to do bigger and bolder projects.
As for me, I’m not affiliated with NPR. My show is funded by CPB, which is the big boss for all Public Broadcasting. What it might affect is my ability in the future to make shows. My development deal runs through 09’, if I am funded in the future by CPB it will depend on a few things, the national economy being one of them. I’m not worried. I’m going to make the best damn show possible and make what I bring to the table essential to the future of public broadcasting. And if they don’t pick up the show, someone else will. The future is bright because the big guy upstairs told me to do the work and let him handle the rest. I can do that.
I have been missing the stage like crazy. With all of the other stuff that’s going on; projects I can talk about (radio) and projects I can’t (shshshsh), I been working my butt off. But no theatre time. It’s driving me a little nutty. I need to get on stage, I need to write for the stage; the feeling I get from both of them is unparalleled. I don’t feel like my theatre career has stalled, but I also don’t think it’s moving at the pace I’d like. But I guess the more important thing is that I can’t control that, what I can control is the work. That sounds clinical when the truth is for me it’s not about making work to advance a career path. It’s about making work because I have a story to tell, something to say. It’s about being in love with the stage, the hot lights, the conversation between me and the audience. I can’t live without it. And so I’m in the midst of working on a new theatre piece. Crumbs.
I’m sure I’ll be writing more about the play here, but in this post I won’t talk about the story itself. This will be the first piece that I’m working with a composer on. It’s a poetical that will use music in a way I haven’t in the past. I’m excited to have a collaborator and though we have not officially decided to work together we are moving in that direction. Very exciting for me, to have someone that can score behind my words because I hear it in my head musically, but mostly I have had to settle for it without music. Irritating. I can’t wait to see and hear how the piece shakes out.
I'm applying for a bunch of fellowships and residencies across the country. I'm excited about the prospects. These things though come and go. You put together a package and then you forget about it. Pray that someone reads it, and gets the work you are looking to do. So we'll see, deep down, I feel like a few of these fellowships are mine. I don't know why but on some of the stuff i submit for, I know before I send off the package that I'm going to get it. Two of them specifically I can feel it. Let's hope that feeling is true.
2008 has been a very good year for me. So personally I feel like things are moving in the right direction. Still it’s hard to be too happy when the economy is falling apart and people all over the country are struggling to pay bills and feed families. The world on a whole is in a tough-tough spot. In the New Year, I of course would like to professionally move forward, but more importantly with all the stuff going on, I want to be apart of the solution. It may be a corny sentiment, but we’ve tried all the other stuff and nothing seems to be working. Personally, I’m going to try and bring what little light I have, I want to be the open palm instead of the closed fist. I’m so tired of the closed fist. So is the rest of the world. May we all wake in a better world tomorrow.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Back in the Saddle
It’s been a few months since I’ve updated this blog. I promise for the five people who read this it that I will not disappear that long again in the future. So what’s been up with me? A ton. In the last couple months I’ve been to NY, Detroit, Chicago, LA, Ashland, Oregon and Atlanta. Mostly for the radio show but also for some theater stuff.
I’ve been working on the newest episode of State of the Re:UNION: Motor City Rebound. It’s been a while since I put together an episode, actually close to a year ago, so I’d forgotten how intense of a process it can be. Fortunately I have an excellent team. My advisors helped me find the producer of the show Zak Rosen, and I got my old producer Taki Telonidis to be the senior advisor of the show for this episode and hopefully for the entire development process. I think it’s important that Taki stay involved with the program since we made the pilot together. He took all my ideas and gave them shape. I think the concept could stand on it’s own without either Taki or I, I believe together we can put our personal stamp on the program and create something really special. Along with Zak, Willie Evans Jr (the incredible beatmaker)and my business partner, Ian, I think we have a good team.
That however does not mean that everything is easy. Creating an episode is like giving birth. It is giving birth, not the physical pain of course, but the mental strain, the sleepless nights, the joy of seeing the baby for the first time, all of it is the same. Zak and I started working on story ideas in August. Zak had an idea of the story he wanted to tell, I had a different take. We went back and forth for a while, but once I got on the ground in Detroit, I could see the story, and it was much closer to Zak’s vision then mine. Taki listened to our ideas gave us some insight, Ian was excellent logistical support. We did all the field recording in Detroit for about three weeks total. For the two weeks we edited the interviews did a lot of writing, and a lot of polish, and I can finally say it’s done.
Prior to going to Detroit, I was really nervous about what kind of show I’d be creating. I wanted to create something that uplifted people but all I heard about Detroit was negative. I’m writing this two weeks since completing the episode, and still the only things I hear in the news or online are negatives. What’s striking to me is that when I went to Detroit, I found a lot of positives. In the vast space between what you’d normally expect in a city and what they actually have in Detroit, I found that the people are making it happen on their own. They aren’t waiting for the government or outsiders to handle it and save them. Instead they’ve started finding ways to get around the road blocks and create a new model for how a city can work. It’s not perfect. People are hurting, the economy is in shambles, the political structure is struggling and yet when I left the “D” I felt hopeful.
Right before our eyes the world is changing. America as a whole is being challenged in a way it hasn’t in decades. What Detroit taught me, was that beyond all of that are the people. The foundation of this republic and that foundation, while battered and bruised is what will see us through.
If you get a chance check out the episode here:
http://www.stateofthereunion.com/podcasts/motorcityrebound.mp3
I’ve been working on the newest episode of State of the Re:UNION: Motor City Rebound. It’s been a while since I put together an episode, actually close to a year ago, so I’d forgotten how intense of a process it can be. Fortunately I have an excellent team. My advisors helped me find the producer of the show Zak Rosen, and I got my old producer Taki Telonidis to be the senior advisor of the show for this episode and hopefully for the entire development process. I think it’s important that Taki stay involved with the program since we made the pilot together. He took all my ideas and gave them shape. I think the concept could stand on it’s own without either Taki or I, I believe together we can put our personal stamp on the program and create something really special. Along with Zak, Willie Evans Jr (the incredible beatmaker)and my business partner, Ian, I think we have a good team.
That however does not mean that everything is easy. Creating an episode is like giving birth. It is giving birth, not the physical pain of course, but the mental strain, the sleepless nights, the joy of seeing the baby for the first time, all of it is the same. Zak and I started working on story ideas in August. Zak had an idea of the story he wanted to tell, I had a different take. We went back and forth for a while, but once I got on the ground in Detroit, I could see the story, and it was much closer to Zak’s vision then mine. Taki listened to our ideas gave us some insight, Ian was excellent logistical support. We did all the field recording in Detroit for about three weeks total. For the two weeks we edited the interviews did a lot of writing, and a lot of polish, and I can finally say it’s done.
Prior to going to Detroit, I was really nervous about what kind of show I’d be creating. I wanted to create something that uplifted people but all I heard about Detroit was negative. I’m writing this two weeks since completing the episode, and still the only things I hear in the news or online are negatives. What’s striking to me is that when I went to Detroit, I found a lot of positives. In the vast space between what you’d normally expect in a city and what they actually have in Detroit, I found that the people are making it happen on their own. They aren’t waiting for the government or outsiders to handle it and save them. Instead they’ve started finding ways to get around the road blocks and create a new model for how a city can work. It’s not perfect. People are hurting, the economy is in shambles, the political structure is struggling and yet when I left the “D” I felt hopeful.
Right before our eyes the world is changing. America as a whole is being challenged in a way it hasn’t in decades. What Detroit taught me, was that beyond all of that are the people. The foundation of this republic and that foundation, while battered and bruised is what will see us through.
If you get a chance check out the episode here:
http://www.stateofthereunion.com/podcasts/motorcityrebound.mp3
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Pro-Life
Dear Blog readers. First forgive me for taking so long to update this blog. In the near future you will be sick of reading all the post I’ll be putting up. Big things happening, and I’ve got a ton to talk about. But today it doesn’t feel appropriate. I, like most of the nation have spent the last couple weeks engrossed with politics, the conventions, the protest, the speeches, the candidates… After a while it all becomes white noise blaring in the background of life. Today that white noise seemed to roar a little louder in my ear then normal.
I’m working on an hour long radio documentary about violence in my home town Jacksonville Florida. My goal is to work from the bottom up. To talk to the people who experience the violence first hand, and try and understand where it comes from. Most of Jacksonville is a pretty peaceful place. But one area of town the Eastside/Springfield and parts of the Northside are plagued with violence. These parts of town are economically depressed and primarily African-American. As the rest of the city marches to the beat of the Florida sun, young people are dieing and killing each other.
If you read this blog at all, or know my work then you know I’ve got some roots in this community from my work at the Sanctuary on 8th street. I’ve been volunteering/working there for three years now, and I have a real connection with the kids there. As apart of the series I’m working on, I went back to the Sanctuary to interview one of the boys, Biko. Biko is one of the brightest kids I know. He’s got this big open smile, and always willing to help out. At 16, Biko has been shot at more then four times and hit twice. When we sat down to talk, Biko’s leg was bandaged from a gun shot wound to his knee. He was much skinnier then I’d last seen and it was obvious that the whole incident weighed heavy on him. But he still had a big smile and hug for me.
When Biko got shot this time, he was at a store talking to a friend, a car rolled by and shot him in the leg. He didn’t know who the shooter was, and no one knows for sure why he was shot. Most assume it was mistaken identity. Image that, you are minding your business, getting a soda from the store, and someone shoots you in the leg. What’s ironic about Biko’s existence is that he’s an immigrant from Africa. He moved with his family from the Congo to America to escape the wars. With the sound of gun shots breaking the silence of the night, I can’t help but wonder what the differences there are between the war he is currently fighting, and the wars his parents tried to protect him from. This is Biko’s reality. It’s not a movie. It’s not made up, it’s life and death every day in a way most of us can’t image.
Through the interview Biko keeps smiling. When I ask him where he will be in five years he says, without a smile, lowering his voice, “Probably dead… or in jail” There is such certainty in his words, the type of certainty that a grown man has from the hard experiences of life. We talked about life on the street, police harassment, having no opportunities, no hope. When we were done with the interview I struggled to not weep. I know that must sound melodramatic, but the truth is at 16 and two bullet wounds already, what kind of life is waiting for him outside that door? Most of you will never know Biko, so you will have to take it from me. He’s the type of kid that lights up any room he’s in. He could be a computer technician, a programmer, a mathematician, a physicist, but most likely he won’t. And yes there are people who can rise up from their bootstraps, but I’d argue that most people who do have much more support then he does.
I watched Biko limp away on crutches, acting like it’s all going to be okay, like what he just said was about someone else and not him. But it’s not. With five siblings, a dead father, an unemployed mother, and a neighborhood in the on the verge of death, where can he go?
It was on my drive home when that the white noise started roaring in my ears. Someone on the radio was talking about the Christian Right, and their Pro-life stand, and it infuriated me. It infuriates me because these same people who scream pro-life will do nothing about the lives being lost in ghettos of America. They stand in their Ivory Churches and protest the loss of life when it’s in the form of an abortion, but turn a blind eye to children like Biko. Is he not sufficient for God’s grace? Does the fact that he is in the ghetto disqualify him from receiving help with the same vigor with which they protest abortion? Of course not all on the Christian Right fall into this category. There are people who come into the ghetto’s everyday and give their heart, but for change to happen Pastors like Rick Warren, James Dobson, TD Jakes, and John Hagee need to mobilize their congregations for the cause of children like Biko, the same way they mobilize them for other causes.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in any way taking sides on the issue of Abortion, I’m just asking why the need to defend life doesn’t extend to the life already here. Why it is acceptable to have a rash of violence where young people are the victims? What have they done that makes it okay for them to die? I think people tend to think that people living in poverty are there because they deserve it. I do not agree with that concept but I won’t argue the point, what I will argue is if that is true, do their kids deserve it?
Please don’t point to the government programs. They obviously don’t work, or there would be no need to write this post. I think the Christian Right needs to ask themselves What would Jesus do? I don’t identify myself with that group. I’m only asking them the same questions I’ve asked myself. I am not perfect, I don’t profess to have a direct line with God, or that I am his messenger and know his will. But when I ask myself the question that the Christian Right has begged us to ask, the answer I come up with is this: He’d help the poor. He’d help the children. He’d try to save people without judgment in his heart, because it’s the right thing to do.
I’m working on an hour long radio documentary about violence in my home town Jacksonville Florida. My goal is to work from the bottom up. To talk to the people who experience the violence first hand, and try and understand where it comes from. Most of Jacksonville is a pretty peaceful place. But one area of town the Eastside/Springfield and parts of the Northside are plagued with violence. These parts of town are economically depressed and primarily African-American. As the rest of the city marches to the beat of the Florida sun, young people are dieing and killing each other.
If you read this blog at all, or know my work then you know I’ve got some roots in this community from my work at the Sanctuary on 8th street. I’ve been volunteering/working there for three years now, and I have a real connection with the kids there. As apart of the series I’m working on, I went back to the Sanctuary to interview one of the boys, Biko. Biko is one of the brightest kids I know. He’s got this big open smile, and always willing to help out. At 16, Biko has been shot at more then four times and hit twice. When we sat down to talk, Biko’s leg was bandaged from a gun shot wound to his knee. He was much skinnier then I’d last seen and it was obvious that the whole incident weighed heavy on him. But he still had a big smile and hug for me.
When Biko got shot this time, he was at a store talking to a friend, a car rolled by and shot him in the leg. He didn’t know who the shooter was, and no one knows for sure why he was shot. Most assume it was mistaken identity. Image that, you are minding your business, getting a soda from the store, and someone shoots you in the leg. What’s ironic about Biko’s existence is that he’s an immigrant from Africa. He moved with his family from the Congo to America to escape the wars. With the sound of gun shots breaking the silence of the night, I can’t help but wonder what the differences there are between the war he is currently fighting, and the wars his parents tried to protect him from. This is Biko’s reality. It’s not a movie. It’s not made up, it’s life and death every day in a way most of us can’t image.
Through the interview Biko keeps smiling. When I ask him where he will be in five years he says, without a smile, lowering his voice, “Probably dead… or in jail” There is such certainty in his words, the type of certainty that a grown man has from the hard experiences of life. We talked about life on the street, police harassment, having no opportunities, no hope. When we were done with the interview I struggled to not weep. I know that must sound melodramatic, but the truth is at 16 and two bullet wounds already, what kind of life is waiting for him outside that door? Most of you will never know Biko, so you will have to take it from me. He’s the type of kid that lights up any room he’s in. He could be a computer technician, a programmer, a mathematician, a physicist, but most likely he won’t. And yes there are people who can rise up from their bootstraps, but I’d argue that most people who do have much more support then he does.
I watched Biko limp away on crutches, acting like it’s all going to be okay, like what he just said was about someone else and not him. But it’s not. With five siblings, a dead father, an unemployed mother, and a neighborhood in the on the verge of death, where can he go?
It was on my drive home when that the white noise started roaring in my ears. Someone on the radio was talking about the Christian Right, and their Pro-life stand, and it infuriated me. It infuriates me because these same people who scream pro-life will do nothing about the lives being lost in ghettos of America. They stand in their Ivory Churches and protest the loss of life when it’s in the form of an abortion, but turn a blind eye to children like Biko. Is he not sufficient for God’s grace? Does the fact that he is in the ghetto disqualify him from receiving help with the same vigor with which they protest abortion? Of course not all on the Christian Right fall into this category. There are people who come into the ghetto’s everyday and give their heart, but for change to happen Pastors like Rick Warren, James Dobson, TD Jakes, and John Hagee need to mobilize their congregations for the cause of children like Biko, the same way they mobilize them for other causes.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in any way taking sides on the issue of Abortion, I’m just asking why the need to defend life doesn’t extend to the life already here. Why it is acceptable to have a rash of violence where young people are the victims? What have they done that makes it okay for them to die? I think people tend to think that people living in poverty are there because they deserve it. I do not agree with that concept but I won’t argue the point, what I will argue is if that is true, do their kids deserve it?
Please don’t point to the government programs. They obviously don’t work, or there would be no need to write this post. I think the Christian Right needs to ask themselves What would Jesus do? I don’t identify myself with that group. I’m only asking them the same questions I’ve asked myself. I am not perfect, I don’t profess to have a direct line with God, or that I am his messenger and know his will. But when I ask myself the question that the Christian Right has begged us to ask, the answer I come up with is this: He’d help the poor. He’d help the children. He’d try to save people without judgment in his heart, because it’s the right thing to do.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Repackaging Racism
Jesse Helms died recently, and the press and politicians have been clamoring to pat him on the back. I’ve heard things like he, “He stood for something” and that he was a hard charging politician that stood for something.
What they don’t say is that he stood for racism. He stood for me not being equal to other folks. He blocked every civil rights bill that came before him, and had nothing but disgust for the people fighting for the right to be equal.
The flags are flying at half mass in his home state. I can’t help but wonder what the reaction would be if say, Louis Farrakhan had died and black politicians made similar comments about him?
Sometimes America makes me sad. I’m sad that politicians praise an outwardly racist man, and can’t deal with the truth. I’m sad for all the black people in his state that was supposedly represented by this man in the Senate. I’m sad for Jesse Helms, sad that his entire life, he had an evil cancer of hate in his heart. I’m sad that another human being, no matter how much he may have disliked me has passed.
I will not dance on his grave, but I will also not pretend he was something other then what he was; a small man of huge limitations, that allowed his hate to run his life. May God have mercy on his soul and may he have mercy on mine as well.
What they don’t say is that he stood for racism. He stood for me not being equal to other folks. He blocked every civil rights bill that came before him, and had nothing but disgust for the people fighting for the right to be equal.
The flags are flying at half mass in his home state. I can’t help but wonder what the reaction would be if say, Louis Farrakhan had died and black politicians made similar comments about him?
Sometimes America makes me sad. I’m sad that politicians praise an outwardly racist man, and can’t deal with the truth. I’m sad for all the black people in his state that was supposedly represented by this man in the Senate. I’m sad for Jesse Helms, sad that his entire life, he had an evil cancer of hate in his heart. I’m sad that another human being, no matter how much he may have disliked me has passed.
I will not dance on his grave, but I will also not pretend he was something other then what he was; a small man of huge limitations, that allowed his hate to run his life. May God have mercy on his soul and may he have mercy on mine as well.
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